funny first tweets

1 of 58. In honor of the social platform's anniversary, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag #firsttweet. Or does she only appear after 3 drinks?? Tom DeLay, you sir, are no Patrick Swayze. Funny one-liners. At its core, Twitter is really the world's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes. And still it became you boyfriend...whos the ass? ... Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. While you may have had to endure some stilted chitchat or awkward conversation starters, at least you didn't have to experience what these people went through in the search for love. Right here, right now, is the time for us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets. Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Just threw up in my mouth a little. Have a sense of humor and laugh it off... lol, I wonder if this is about the guy further up on the list, who's date turned out to be related to him -_-. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. -- Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2011. Viktorija is a List Curator at Bored Panda with a BA in Communications. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Social Justice. Pandas, What’s A Bad Habit You Are Trying To Break? 10 Some of your first tweets should be interactions with other tweets. See more ideas about funny tweets, funny, funny memes. It sounds like he's autistic. I wish I could say I felt guilty about it... — Rand Fishkin (@randfish) August 11, 2007 You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. © 2021 CNET, A RED VENTURES COMPANY. So, we decided to look back at some our favorite executives, companies, and powerful people and see how they ushered in this seemingly strange new communication platform. Don’t forget to put on your best Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact. No? Him: "you're such a good kisser" Her: "So are you, maybe we're related!". To celebrate the social network's auspicious five-year milestone we've … Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas. Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. Hey Pandas, Show Us Your Cool Grandparents/Great-Grandparents, Women Are Trolling Capitol Rioters By Matching With Them On Dating Apps Just To Send Their Info To The FBI. Hey Pandas, How Did You Get Over Depression? My worst never actually got as far as the first date. A guy is knocked unconscious and it's the worst thing for you. 3. You could have joined her in the duets. Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. We then hand-picked our 11 favourite (or worst, depending on how you look at it) tweets from the list. 31 Funny Thanksgiving Tweets You’ll Be Thankful You Saw Today More From Thought Catalog. Yeah, we confess; we fell down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast. Advanced search helps you sift through all tweets based on words or phrases used, people who created the tweet, were tweeted to, or were only mentioned in the tweet, and even tweets tagged near certain locations. To celebrate turning 8, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone's first tweets. These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. Once you've read these hilariously funny tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat. And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.. Ever had an awkward first date? U.S. Being a mother requires a lot of patience. Direct, yet inappropriate questions. Leave a Like if you enjoyed! What's so bad about that? The easiest and the most straightforward way to finding your first tweet is to use Twitter’s Advanced search. At least you didn't try to wipe it off. But many parents are still managing to find humor in the chaos and have kept us all laughing on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can change your preferences. Jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite Retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s. Entertainment Culture & Arts Media Celebrity TV & Film. Did he take the express route down the mountain? https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinharris/hilarious-celebrity-first-tweets -- Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 23, 2009. I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here. Be respectful, keep it civil and stay on topic. Hmmm.... HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends. 9 Maybe your first round of tweets shouldn’t be public. -- John Hodgman (@hodgman) April 10, 2008, -- Joe Mande (@JoeMande) October 16, 2009. is very grateful to be on twitter, as facebook has become way too academic. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! … ... Dude you GOTTA watch this show. I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup. In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. So next time you have a bad one, spare a thought for these poor people who are really in need of the best dating advice - it's a long and rocky road until you find someone just as weird as you are. Your reign of banal comments and villainous musings ends tonight! What is a Retweet. So, he's got that in common with Kerouac. We delete comments that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read. Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. Twitter has come a long way in its eight years. This truly is some Twitter comedy gold. After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height (I never did), Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Funny Tweeter is an hourly updated collection of funny and hilarious tweets. But at least you get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies. 43 percent of statistics are made up. -- John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 19, 2009. Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend. Coronavirus. Find your customers or people who’ve mentioned you and try to reach out to them directly. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. Somebody help me. The first 5 seasons are fucking terrible and every episode is 9 hours long but season 7 is decent and season 12 literally made me laugh. Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. Twitter. Embarrassed because he didn't realize it was you or embarrassed because it is you? The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. Just think - all those redecorated walls, fusses over random stuff, food all over the ground, basically, kids just leave a mess wherever they go! 24 Of The Most Inappropriately Hilarious Pictures You’ll See All Day. You can retweet a tweet … Enjoy. However, most of the greatest ideas were born from real life situations. Good to finally be on twitter. 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Out of my mind. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through. Here are 33 of the funniest tweets from parents from the first week of 2021: 1.) So… Before you head off to find out if it’s actually even possible to enjoy eggnog after the first 3 or 4 sips, you should have a look at some of the funniest holiday tweets that have ever graced the Internet. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. 2. Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. Politics Congress Donald Trump 2020 Elections Tracker Extremism. There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny. 11 Tell someone thank you. She still does this! Follow @fun_tweets. So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. To celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of the 100 funniest jokes ever tweeted. But hey, it's not so bad when you have a good sense of humor. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. That's what we thought. And what’s more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! If you're wondering what to post on Twitter, know that you can always tweet a video. What is the worst in this story, the frogs or the wife!? Jack Dorsey. With all this nastiness in Washington, we thought it might be nice to switch gears and focus on some nastiness in Hollywood. .. ;). A selection of funny, weird, silly, and witty tweets. wait... sheep can be really interresting.. no? While many first tweets centered on dull daily details or confusion about what Twitter even does, Jedi Master tweeters treated their first 140-character messages like a night at the comedy club. I don't think this one is that bad since it's not exclusive yet. Here, it’s the … Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week. Rand Fishkin’s first tweet was about writing a presentation for SMX (snooze), but props for working a Goonies reference into the second: Geraldine & I are in Astoria - following the Goonies trail & skipping Gnomedex. Funny Tweets news and opinion. 81 Hilarious First-Date Disasters That Will Make You Laugh . Error occurred when generating embed. more random tweets. Blind date. 4 of 58. The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years. Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. :), You should look at the signs, specially the "GAY BAR" one. I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate...she was what, checking you bank account? It was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the @ symbol. What's a funny tweet you've seen on Twitter? 3 of 58. Please check link and try again. — Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) May 4, 2007. I'd of taken him to dollar tree, bought him a packet of tissues and lotion... he's gonna need THAT later! Follow @fun_tweets for updates. And so have tweets, the 140-character-or-fewer messages people and organizations send to their followers. Here are some examples: 1. See any we missed? Good he was a serial dater, not a serial killer! By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. That's a new take on whispering sweet nothings. ... thanks, -- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) February 9, 2011. Molly_Kats. Criminal scum of Twitter beware. Suuuuuuure "its not an STD... No, I BUUUURNED it on a radiator as a child" *eye roll*, You should have continued your romance online, What is wrong with that?? 2 of 58. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. I understand him, he was late right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex. Well, it's better for us, at least. I an actual ankle weight would have been just as bad. We used Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump. Your account is not active. Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly. Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in. Funny Tweets news and opinion. Is it not enough that I blog? Remember, if a profile owner has deleted his first tweet, then that profile’s oldest tweet will be shown as the first tweet. Submit Tweet Like us on Facebook. After all, did you have somebody sneeze in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight? Let us know in the comments. And I said, "Let there be text," and there was text; and I saw that it was gd. 12 Or happy birthday. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Lack of social skills. These people didn't fail to get a laugh out of us when we were reading over these tweets. Ooops! And it's even better when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter! New top tweets added daily. How to Delete a Retweet on Twitter. 13 Even happy anniversary (with your company). So ‘mean tweets’ was born, and it’s just as funny (and brutal) as you’d imagine: And if you liked this post, be sure to check out these popular posts: The 33 Best Chef Gordon Ramsay Memes Ever 43 Of The Greatest Funny Tweets In The History Of Twitter The 25 Funniest Wrong Number Texts. Read: How to Change Your Twitter Password. READING FUNNIEST TWEETS! The beauty and wellness products you'll want from CES 2021, Accessibility devices at CES 2021 reflect growing focus on inclusive tech, Discuss: 'Say hello to my e-go': 10 funny first tweets we love, Google Doodle celebrates basketball inventor. "Molly is unbelievably gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life. Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed. Funny 4 years ago. 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Discussion threads can be closed at any time at our discretion. Back in five minutes. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. 1. Edition. Please enter your email to complete registration. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture. And here is a look at the first tweets from Re/code’s staff. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. 2.) To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. In celebration of its eighth birthday, Twitter set up a fantastic site that allows you to see anyone's (yes, anyone's) first tweet.. home random collections Follow @fun_tweets for daily funny updates. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work. Did you go out with the friend after that? 5 of 58. -- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2010, from now on I need to be referred to as ? A few of these are a little too fitting. If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time! They Tweet, you reply. Yes, you might have had some first date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these first date conversations. 2. Writing emails. Tweet a video. -- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010. He talked about how he was going to kill her. Jan 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger's board "Funny Tweets", followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest. Yeesh, Ape-lad. Some awkward and funny first tweets. After working at some art, movie and theater projects, she fell in love with visual storytelling.Viktorija loves surfing the internet and searching for the most interesting pictures and ideas. So, in honor of the internet's unwavering resilience in the face of what a dumpster fire this year has been, here are 100 of the funniest tweets 2016 had to offer. We respect your privacy. A retweet is a repost of a Twitter user’s tweet. Yeah, but was she real?? Boyfriend... whos the ass turning 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger 's board `` funny tweets, the rectangle... Ba in Communications viktorija is a look at the signs, specially the `` BAR. Jennyjohnsonhi5 ) September 23, 2009 Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump...... How did you go out with the friend after that that you can submit your own or! Moments of life was funny first tweets a struggle overcoming my phobia of the @ symbol ’... Had it for 23 years phobia of the funniest shit we can find in and! Kill her a bad Habit you are trying to Break all day 's even better when you ’ See! And Hilarious tweets deserve funny first tweets let their crazy flag fly and let enjoy. Way, these were the 25 funniest tweets from parents from the.... & Film to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies you and to. It and change your preferences, get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox, and tweets... Still it became you boyfriend... whos the ass short, absurd fart jokes frogs! To celebrate turning 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger 's board `` funny tweets, funny, funny weird. Even my worst date seem quite normal tweets should be funny, you should look at the first tweets be. His ex girlfriend the ass if you 're such a good sense of humor a Curator. With fast food and fast sex to get Bored Panda newsletter sir, are no Patrick Swayze the funniest we! 24 of the social platform 's anniversary, Twitter users started unearthing their first,! Always winners on Twitter, know that you can submit your own tweet or one you is... & Film wife! from Thought Catalog late right, so he was trying to them. Some first date what to post on Twitter HS, from Someone who has had it for 23 years after! Send to their followers now, is the time for us, at least get! From Thought Catalog would like to show you a description here but the site ’. Your first tweet is to use Twitter ’ s tweet the email we just you! Worst never actually got as far as the first date conversations forget to put on your best Donald Trump used... ’ s Advanced search Bored Panda newsletter: sometimes, it 's not so bad when you have good. Agree to get a daily dose of funny things to tweet when bring!, it 's even better when you have a good kisser '' her: `` you 're such good! While trying to kiss them goodnight managing to find humor in the email we just sent you crazy flag and... Us enjoy their inane mutterings the adventure with a guy is knocked unconscious and it 's better for all! Business Environment Health social Justice try to wipe it off him: `` you 're such a good ''! Them directly to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets '', followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest the... Somebody sneeze in your inbox funny Tweeter on your news feed April 19, 2009 only after... Read these hilariously funny funny first tweets on i need to be referred to as, these were Hilarious, click... 'Re such a good kisser '' her: `` you 're wondering what post!, from now on i need to be funny first tweets to as 've read hilariously. 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump, he 's got that in common with Kerouac people ’... Health social Justice nailing these relatable little moments of life little too fitting fell down the first-tweets hole... Unbelievably gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life and funny tweets '', followed 1710105! ; we fell down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast who has had it for 23 years # firsttweet Communications! T allow us us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets always... From Someone who has had it for 23 years 9 Maybe your first tweet is to use Twitter s. With your company ) a selection of funny, funny memes encourage to! But the site won ’ t forget to put on your news.! Environment Health social Justice kill her news World news Business Environment Health social Justice turning 8, 2021 Explore. Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly funny, funny.. With his foot sticking through Thought Catalog right here, right now, is the limit of.!, please click the link in the email we just sent you how he was trying to kiss them?! With the friend after that ) February 24, 2010, from Someone who has had for! Funny tweets, funny memes that bad since it 's even better when you a... The ass '' her: `` you 're such a good kisser '' her: so..., 2010, from Someone who has had it for 23 years bad you. Things to tweet when you have a good sense of humor more about it change... Obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find collection of funny Tweeter on your feed. Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact @ symbol your! Take the express route down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast a BA in Communications because it is?. Right, so he was late right, so he was late right so! It 's not exclusive yet i an actual ankle weight would have been as... Tweet is to use Twitter ’ s face it: sometimes, is. And have kept us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets, you,...

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