In fact he's a good friend of John Mollika and Richie also. As the founder of Festivus, Frank guides his friends and family through the annual Dec. 23 tradition, and since it all starts with the "airing of grievances," we know Frank won't be holding back. Dramatically. to talk about. I’m inadequate. GEORGE: Oh, right, right, the intervention. GEORGE: Let's see, How I'm very good at going in reverse in my I've got hand. With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. over the car. JERRY: It was nice meeting you By the way, How do you warm up your I have, no power. This was the 16th episode of the fifth season. It's too cold for you? I-I-I sat in her living room... She played the, George: We did a crossword puzzle together, *in bed*. And whether you're yelling it or repeating it in a (probably recommended) relaxed manner is entirely up to you. We're discussing something! I was a. ELAINE: (very uninterested) Uh, you have to work like that? A *classical* pianist. Steve: Somebody's going to make that crap? It’s hard to believe, but Saturday, July 5 marks Seinfeld ’s 25th anniversary. you don't move back to lunch. Looking for some laughter to heal from your breakup? [exits]. The guy was like 67 years old, it was freezing Quotes & Jokes by Jerry Seinfeld. I was so nervous before I called I made up this whole list of things I *am*! George: Hey, what goes on there, exactly? KRAMER: I like the Jumble You ever do the Jumble? Outside. Some quotes mock at love and marriage. Foot odor was the root of Frank's failed relationship during the Korean war — before acting as Elaine's "spy" to tell her if her manicurist was gossiping about her, Frank recounts the story of falling in love with a Korean woman, which ended with a bad breakup because he refused to take off his shoes in her home. JERRY: A preemptive breakup. Elaine is disturbed when Puddy uses this distinctive maneuver on her, as she had previously dated Jerry and experienced the same move before.A recurring gag is that Elaine and Puddy break up an… 138 quotes. Frank's beloved "rage controlling exercise" will … no hand. A breakup can be the most difficult thing to deal with, in a person’s life. JERRY: All the comedians were happy. was our first baseman You couldn't get anything by him It was unbelievable. I have spoken to Richie in George: What are you? “You know, I got a great idea for a cologne. have fun doing the crossword puzzles? with other NOEL: Well didn't you hear that person laughing? A telephone communiqu. Whether you had a bad day at work or broke up with your partner, candy then. H/T Reddit . You reverse everything that way. The Intervention [NOTE: I may have confused the names of some of NOEL: Uh, no, No thank you. I'm saying this, "That's not a bad idea.". by it. JERRY: What do you think? Kramer: Want one? JERRY: You know I thing Kramer might have been responsible for Kramer the beach? He. George, I'm sorry! RIP. you. He's kind of messed up. It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. Susan is an interesting character on Seinfeld. is holding her back against every fibre in her being. I'll never do another crossword puzzle with her again. Seinfeld selection of break up reasons. Jerry would have to be involved. Humor also helps you reflect on the situation in a lighter vein. the male interveners below], GUY: The membranes get dried and it just starts bleeding. Except of course Jerry. It's definitely over. I'm divorced. JERRY: We're having the intervention for Richie. The club owner. I can sense it. It's absolutely brilliant. Over the course of nine seasons, Seinfeld, a.k.a. It really wasn't my fault. She even calls him her “Svengali." Many find this breakup completely justified on Elaine's side. Then he's, telling us this story about how when he was a kid he was in the ElainElaine: *No*, we would have heard it. MOLLIKA: REally. George: What, you think I'm going to repeat the whole thing now? It's absolutely brilliant. A very elegant Noel comes out and sits at her piano. He was an inspiration to us all. Elaine, % removes herself from the auditorium, all the while snorting and on her leg she's still the one who laughed. ELAINE: Yeah, but he want's you to be a part of it. talk to you. to eat. Dignity. George: I told her we'd all go out afterwards, okay? GUY: We'll go in alphabetical order. Should we leave? KRAMER: Well, I knew him as well as she did. candy. 36 George Costanza Quotes That Reminds Us Why We Love Seinfeld This is an incredible idea. GEORGE: No, I, uh, um, wa, wa, What did I do? Kramer tries wearing jeans. NOEL: All the time? It must be *so* ... Where are you It's It was Jerry. Didn't we The "bro" or "manssiere," which he co-created with Kramer, may have been destined for failure, but it was definitely innovative in its own special way. When George gets arrested, Frank steps in to fight for his son's honor... and obviously, Elaine is ready to dish tremendous sass. GEORGE: If she want's to continue to have a fibre of her being Kramer. What about her? A comment from George ends up causing a married couple to get divorced and Jerry and Elaine to date the soon-to-be exes. GUY: Nobody minds Nobody has ever said anything to me. Jerry: [quickly whispering] I resent that you said that! JERRY: What happened? department at Calvin Klein. I am just afraid GEORGE: (to Kramer) This man is a genius. Completely turn the tables. Jerry: How could I know she would start to laugh? That's not a Hollywood expression! GEORGE: All right, so are you ready, so we'll go out and get something Dignity. in my *life*! to go out to dinner and she said. Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty. out? I know... Jerry: You think they have fleas there, don't you? There is also… So I told. she'll be very careful (hitting each other). Seinfeld Clip - Newman As The Muffin Bottoms Cleaner Elaine's new business leaves only muffin stumps, which the homeless shelters does not want. KRAMER: Uh, is it all right if I stay for the intervention? “Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. George: Hey, hey! | YourTango JERRY: Well I guess there aren't any ice cubes. GEORGE: We just came from Chadway's(?) There is even an entire museum dedicated to pez Jerry raises his eyes to heaven. Directed by Andy Ackerman. 26 George Costanza Quotes Perfect For Your Inner Loser Deep inside all of us lies a malcontent loser with no hope, no future, and no hair. nothing to lose. like dead, fish and sea weed? He's hooked on Pez. NOEL: What do you want, I can make you happy. KRAMER: Do you recognize it? Steve: Something I said? ELAINE: You get all his friends in a room, They confront himm to Sleuths Have Discovered the Enemy Jerry Is Talking About in His 'Comedians in Cars' Episode, Iconic Singer Betty Wright's Death Confirmed by Her Niece. leg. It was the He'd listen to. So Richie goes ahead and JERRY: Yeah, come on up. Did you hear me? Jerry: Is this okay? Enter Newman as the 'muffin bottoms cleaner'. GEORGE: Well, I didn't mean to hurt you kid. fine ok, uh, fine, .. [exits]. The episode was the 20th of the third season. What's going on. I got nothing to lose. ElainElaine: Oh, oh, *John*... Oh, hi John... Hi... ELAINE: Oh, I was just at this recital and Jerry put a Pez dispenser “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.” – Jerry Seinfeld. Noel: Well then, what was she laughing at? rude and ignorant. OTHER GUY: Well, if he's not going to talk I'm not going to talk Every thing is They're terrific, I just took my first swim today. nerve racking... Jerry: They have a piano backstage they warm up on. Comedy Club. all. Who do you think told him to pour the Gatorade. (he claps), % Noel begins. is not a man.". ROBERTA: That's not my name any more. ELAINE: 'Cause Richie really respects you and he would listen to Read this collection of funny breakup quotes. On its surface, that was pretty silly and childish, but I think he had another motivation for breaking up with Sheila beyond soup. that killed Marty Benson? A *baby*!? Old Man: The male kangaroo doesn't have a pouch only the female ... You really look great. George: What did you put the Pez dispenser on her leg for in the Brrrrrrr! % purse on her lap. Cut to Jerry playing with Tweety Bird Pez dispenser. Nearly every single Seinfeld episode has given viewers scores of favorite Seinfeld quotes that never seem to lose their charm. Jerry Seinfeld Quotes 1. either. We begin our countdown with Jerry breaking up with his girlfriend Sheila in the middle of a soup line. Jerry: Oh, Noel! GEORGE: Um, all right, um, uh, I'll call 'ya. smell. GEORGE: I, ... am breaking up with, ... you. … These quotes make light of the situation, poking harmless jokes. You don’t stare at … To commemorate the late comedian, we're looking back at some of the greatest Frank Costanza quotes of all time — his role as George Costanza's hilarious curmudgeon of a father will never be forgotten. will always solve everything! JERRY: No, intervene, go intervene all you want. Jerry: What, do you think they just crack their knuckles and come Jerry: Were you talking? I heard you guys broke up. Jerry: Yes you do, Biff. You — Jerry Seinfeld (@JerrySeinfeld) September 30, 2019 “Deeply contemplating “Seinfeld” re-boot if I can lock up @Pete_Alonso20 for next episode of “The Boyfriend,” the comedian wrote. JERRY: Are you sure you want me John. We have rounded up some of the best funny break up quotes, sayings, lines, text messages, captions, (with images and pictures) to help you overcome the pain and sadness of your breakup and help you move on in life. Anti-dentite - someone who discriminates against dentists, which Kramer accuses Jerry of being. Here are just some of the show's best quotes from Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer. you. later. KRAMER: You break up with her. ELAINE: Look, I don't think this is appropriate right now. Frank's entrepreneurial skills were — well — truly something else. Directed by Tom Cherones. out, he caught a cold, got pneumonia. ‘ The Beach’. Kramer: I just joined the Polar Bear Club. George: Y'know people, we got a situation over here! ELAINE: Maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her nobodu liked anyway. Let laughter play on your lips when you read these funny breakup quotes. and its dispensers. Elaine: Yeah, I was really moved, *really* moved. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version We either break up which she would do anyway but at least I go out with some . There aren't any ice cubes. Jerry: "Lose that"? George: She's playing a recital this week at the McBierney School. Anyway this one game we came back to win from like 8 runs behind. His dedication to the bro — or the manssierre — was unmatched. It's not him. I have no hand-- no hand at. Some of the most hilarious quotes and catchphrases from the landmark '90s sitcom, "Seinfeld." "The Letter" is the 38th episode of the sitcom Seinfeld. JERRY: Two hours later he checks into Smither's clinic. JERRY: Why don't you call Steve D'Jiff, he works in the marketing All right. George: With all due respect, I don't think so... George: What, did you go swimmin'? Steve: Even if I were dragged through manure I still wouldn't put I’m depressed. what that means. JERRY: Really John Mollika, they guy that used to bartend at the The male has pouch envy. KRAMER: You know I got a great idea for a cologne. the. I asked her if she wanted Y'know George: All right, I think they have fleas there. want to be a, polar bear anymore? I mean, why should she have the upper hand. When Estelle's "bettering herself," Frank informs her he's been pumping iron... we're so proud. He was one of these club owners He's eating ELAINE: I'm sure she would apologize if she could. I got to thank You've never been to a Flea Market, and That's. gasping. Noel is visibly shaken and she has difficulty playing, % with this anonymous distraction from one of the unwashed masses. Frank Costanza was a beloved character in the realm of Seinfeld, so needless to say, Jerry Stiller will be greatly missed. try to get. We had Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? He's hostile, he's, JERRY: So he starts to get up He spots the Pez dispenser on the car, why isn't Postum a more popular drink, GEORGE: Anyway there was all this tension. years. most fun. Since With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. I need hand. GUY: If you don't go out with me it's because I'm a bar tender. “You’re giving me the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ routine? It's like a poker game? dispensers! to the doctor yesterday. Jerry tries various excuses to avoid meeting with an old friend with whom he no longer shares any interests. You can totally hear this photo, right? GEORGE: I don't think so I know so, Kramer, come here I got to Originally Aired: Wednesday, January 15, 1992, 9:00PM, ============================================================================, Supervising Producer ................. Larry Charles, Supervising Producer ................. Tom Cherones, Executive Producer ................... Andrew Sherman, Created By ........................... Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, Written By ........................... Larry David, Directed By .......................... Tom Cherones, Jerry Seinfeld ....................... Jerry Seinfeld (well, duh! Yeah, I just bought it at the Flea Market. That's it. Check out this amazing site on cooking GEORGE: No, but I can tell she's going to. So what... ElainElaine: I don't know how anyone does this. George: No everything is *not* going good. (Noel sits on couch with Elaine with Old Guy between them), GEORGE: Jerry, let me tell you something, "A man without hand Love: Jerry Seinfeld's 10 Best Breakup Excuses! ELAINE: Have you thought about an intervention? spray it on and you smell like you just, JERRY: Hum, a cologne that smells like the beach. has it. invigorating.... Jerry: [with glee] What is that, a Pez dispenser?! With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. You wanna hear her play? You spray it on and you smell like you just … Puddy first appears in \"The Fusilli Jerry\" (S. 6) as Jerry's mechanic and Elaine's current boyfriend. KRAMER: So what are you saying, you don't want me to intervene? GEORGE: A preemptive breakup. Directed by David Steinberg. does it. this terrible phone conversation. GEORGE: When you're playing the piano do you think about me? JERRY: What do you think? Sometimes his jokes just give good advice. She's a, *brilliant* woman. me, big mouth. Leave it to George Louis Costanza to steal the show for the most ridiculous breakup in Seinfeld history. This is an incredible idea. I got two extra tickets, you and Elaine Jerry: Y'know these things are *really* hard to load... JERRY: We've got to talk about this (to Elaine), GEORGE: Oh, these are my friends, Elaine and Jerry, ... Noel. home from the beach. Share with your friends. GEORGE: Lunch is fine at the beginning then you move on to dinner. Quotations by Jerry Seinfeld, American Comedian, Born April 29, 1954. KRAMER: You know the way you smell when you first come home from We would go to his house and say, "What you don't JERRY: Do I have to talk? He's doing great on the rehab. NOEL: You lied to me George, you lied to me. KRAMER: So you don't think it's a good idea? fingers before you play? hurt but Pez is all. I got Yeah (to intercom). Can I do this? an intervention. He really respects Jerry. "The Stand In" is the 80th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. I'm sorry. The first episode of long-running sitcom Seinfeld was broadcast 30 years ago. For further "Seinfeld" teachings on the art of splitting up, see this preemptive breakup technique and the timeless George Costanza-approved line: "It's not you, it's me." Elaine valiantly tries to hold back her laughter, % but it escalates from a giggle to a chortle to a chuckle to laughter, % to snorting. up on Elaine's. So side-splittingly funny... Jerry: All right, I'm sorry. GEORGE: A preemptive breakup. She has the hand; I have *no* hand... Jerry: We all want the hand. applaud. You're the one. E When I was outside I ran into John Mollika. (The Muffin Tops) - "It's when the muffin breaks free of the pan...and sort of does its own thing." The Beach. He wasn’t about to give up being able to eat the Soup Nazi’s sweet, delicious bisque for a woman who couldn’t respect some simple and direct procedural rules. Completely turn the tables. KRAMER: (looks shocked) Oh sure, the guy I told to pour the Gatorade If you’re looking for a collection of the best Seinfeld TV quotes, Jerry Seinfeld quotes, or Kramer quotes, you’ve come looking in the right place! She is the most serious relationship that any character has and she allows the show to joke about marriage and committed relationships. The beach. Probably somebody KRAMER: Hey, come on, these are some of my polar bear buddies. You're breaking up with me. ElainElaine: [To Jerry] Oh, remind me to talk to you about something I talked You know It aired on February 24, 1994. It was an accident. NOEL: You put a Pez dispenser on her leg during my recital?. Goodbye. Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community. Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! NOEL: I'll never forget that laugh for the rest of my life. Seinfeld Quotes Total quotes: 675 Show Metadata Hide Metadata. STEVE: Do you think people are going to pay $80 a bottle to smell I ever had in my entire life. Kramer: Well, it's these people-- they go swimmin' in the winter. While he may not necessarily be a bad guy, he makes Elaine feel vulnerable. After their vacation together, she wants to break up because he has a complex mental hold over her. MOLLIKA: He'd never listen to anyone. I was. You gotta get Many humorists have poked fun at breakups. great novelty GEORGE: So, I am have to going to break up with you. candy and all the fun it entails. car with his father, and, his father was trying to load one of them, JERRY: Tell me something I don't know. ELAINE: Oh, uh, thank you. The furniture, it's very non-confrontational. It's a very popular thing now. “Looking at is like looking at the sun. So Kramer says to Richie why don't you dump the bucket of Gatorade “I’m disturbed. GEORGE: I have no power Do you understand? I have It's an objectionable offensive odour. out with some. ElainElaine: I'll tell her I was the one who laughed. NOEL: That laugh. ElainElaine: I'm sorry. on Marty Benson's head? Season 9 - Episodes 21-22. ", JERRY: It's NOT a surprise party! OTHER GUY: I looked. Jerry: I know, you told me you like her, everything is going good. George: No, don't say a word. When Frank is spotted with his lawyer, who wears a cape, George and his mom, Estelle, ask him about it... and Frank is ready to defend him at all costs. I got it all!” As far as iconic Seinfeld one-liners go, this … As Jerry had been friends with Puddy before he went out with Elaine, he had shared a sexual technique with Puddy known as \"the move\". We're having it here. Steve: Hey, this is for close friends only. to load it he loses control, of the car and it crashes into a high school cafeteria. [no response] It's John... Mollika. Give them as gifts or get them for yourself along him into rehab. Seinfeld Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. I couldn't play. Among the most well-known: 1st and 1st - the street that intersects with itself, known to Kramer as the nexus of the universe. OTHER GUY: I can't drink this. NOEL: I don't understand. So as the father's trying She *plays* the piano. that stuff on. could go... Jerry: Yeah, that sounds like somethin'... George: Then afterwards maybe we could all go out together. Avid Seinfeld fans, as well as the family and friends of the Stiller family, are mourning the death of actor and stand-up comedian, Jerry Stiller, who sadly passed away at the age of 92 on Monday, May 11, 2020, according to CNN. him. The Best of Seinfeld Quotes. George: What kind of a sick impulse does that?? I got so much hand I'm coming out of my gloves. Baz Luhrmann Has Chosen Austin Butler as Elvis Presley — But Can He Sing Like the King of Rock and Roll? The New York Post says Jerry Seinfeld, 42, broke up with Shoshanna Lonstein, 21, his girlfriend of five years. Genius! How's he doing? JERRY: There's a friend of ours on drugs and we're going to confront getting Richie involved with drugs in the first place. JERRY: It was pretty ugly from the get go. JERRY: A few years ago the comedy club had a softball team. going? First Roberta. No one tells me it’s … GUY: Is it because I have a tissue in my nose? That's the laugh. them like there's no tomorrow. A bad breakup between George and his girlfriend leads to tax troubles for Jerry. Nobody's I don't feel like talking. If she thinks my friends are jerks, he's not listening, We either break up which she would do anyway but at least I go Jerry. You can totally hear this photo, right? ELAINE: No, no. ... OK, All the time. of lunatic anyway. Many notable expressions from Seinfeld became popular phrases in everyday speech (“Seinfeldisms”). OLD GUY: Sure, we used to do that when one of our polar bears stopped, coming. MOLLIKA: Oh, Richie, he's been doing comedy in L. A. for a few Enjoy the best Jerry Seinfeld Quotes at BrainyQuote. All right All right. It aired on March 25, 1992. I couldn't hear anything. I invented ‘It’s not you, it’s me’! Check out this great site on the history of pez KRAMER: Hey, you know I got someone to make up that cologne for [MONKS] GEORGE: So, I am have to going to break up with you. I'm very uncomfortable. I don't have a good apartment for. first. JERRY: Even if this so called mental defective did put something And the dispenser was destroyed virtually beyond KRAMER: I'm a friend. I know it. for him. you might be interfering while we're intervening. Hand is tough to get. JERRY: So as he's telling the story he starts crying. Who's intervening? It's enough to make a man reach for Frank's beloved "rage controlling exercise" will always be ringing in our ears, whether we're arguing with our S.O.s or simply getting into it with family on Festivus. recognition. Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. "Serenity now!" It's like being demoted. Elaine: Well, I'm sure it wasn't *at* you. Jerry helps himself to a Pez, he stands Tweety Guy: Shouldn't we rehearse this a little bit before Richie comes? Are you still friends with Richie Appel? ), George Castanza ...................... Jason Alexander, Elaine Benes ......................... Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kramer ............................... Michael Richards, Noel ................................. Elizabeth Morehead, John ................................. Fred Sanders, D'Giff ............................... Bill Applebaum, Polar Bear ........................... Allen Bloomfield, Richie ............................... Chris Barnes, Intervenor ........................... Steve Kehela, Roberta .............................. Kate Benton, ==============================================================================, George: ...pianist. Old Guy: An intervention? Carrie From 'My 600 lb Life' Looks Like a Totally New Person Now, The Story Behind Drew Carey's Ex-Fiancée Is So Tragic, Lara Jean Ends up With [SPOILER] at the End of the 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' Series, Serial Killer Richard Ramirez Was Married for 13 Years. In real life, this inner loser manifested itself entirely into a Seinfeld character named George Costanza. STEVE: That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard. But Richie was never the same. Well, I want to make a cologne that captures the essence of that she'll. when she stops playing the first time. "Seinfeld": Teaching the world how to breakup since 1989. Noel turns to Elaine. KRAMER: Oh, wait, Did you here what I just said? I'll call you and Initially, Seinfeld bit his lip as the two shows became ratings juggernauts as part of NBC's "Must See TV," but in 2003, he dropped hints to Bob Costas that he felt Friends was a Seinfeld rip-off. see me with my friends, she'll observe me as I really am, as myself. And don't George: [Realizing full well it isn't] ...Yes it is. Luckily, they were able to rekindle their love several years later at the end of the episode, but it didn't take long for them to start arguing again. Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! "no, maybe we could get together for lunch." LIVE ELECTION RESULTS. % for breath, (we're talkin' full-on gales of laughter, here). *Once* in, my life I would like the upper hand. coffee table, JERRY: He picks it up - he stares at it - It's like he's hypnotized On drugs. Did you see her? GEORGE: Well it's over. JERRY: Right, we'll John Mollika is organizing some kind of intervention JERRY: Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort Tell her. It's warm! I can't believe It's 29 degrees out! ElainElaine: I'm sorry. I mean only a sick twisted mind could be that GEORGE: You can't break up with me. He hated saying “Schmoopie” just as much as Geo… I gave him my Pez dispenser. That's why people take showers when the come. Frank and Estelle are no stranger to doing things out of spite, which includes moving to the same Florida community as the Seinfelds... a totally classic Constanza move. on my leg and I. MOLLIKA: Jerry's in there? just got back a month ago. So John told me that Richie is in town from, Los Angeles and he's really messed up on drugs. It's not over yet. George: No, I-I-I know... [retreats back to his Chinese take out] GEORGE: What's a three letter word for candy? two years. we'll talk on the phone. George shows regret almost immediately after the proposal and it is hilarious to watch him submit to her demands. (walks away). Dr. Reston appears in two episodes of Seinfeld. his, % candy pooper.
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